


It's Nearly Morning

by FormidablePassion



Series: Don't Ask [8]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Canon Compliant, F/F, Nightmares, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Song Lyrics, Song fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-20
Updated: 2018-12-20
Packaged: 2019-09-23 06:57:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 685
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17075543
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FormidablePassion/pseuds/FormidablePassion
Summary: Amanda still has nightmares. When she wakes to find her wife isn't in bed she goes to search for her.It makes Amanda wish all nightmares were only when you were sleeping.





	It's Nearly Morning

**Author's Note:**

> This is a song fic. The entire song lyrics are not posted. This is a time stamp for my fic BBQ's and Boat Tours, it takes place roughly between the end and the epilogue.

Amanda woke from a nightmare. Even after all these years, the feeling of her stomach dropping as the weightless feeling lifted her slightly off her feet as the plane plummeted thousands of feet. Watching, helplessly as two men tried to fight to keep her alive. 

In the dream they never succeeded the demons eyes boring into her soul as her screams went unheard, the accusing eyes of the passengers a heavier weight than her own death. She stopped waking up screaming eventually. Now it's with a gasp and in a cold sweat. 

She reached over automatically to touch the one person who would always ground her. Her safe space. Julia wasn't there. She sighed, she was probably checking the wards. Amanda left the warmth of the bed attempting to leave the horror of her dream in the past. She pulled her robe tight around her before she shuffled out to find Julia. 

Soft music flooded out of the study. 

__  
_ You tried _ __  
_ So try again _ __  
_ You never know _ __  
_ You've cried _ __  
_ You'll cry again _ _  
_ __ You bare your soul

Amanda stopped in the doorway. Julia stood at the window looking out over their yard. She watched closely and saw the tiny tremors of her shoulders. 

She was crying. Amanda's heart ached for her wife. Julia's music always spoke to her mood so she listened further. 

__  
_ No one understands you're on your own _ __  
_ You're not the only one who seems alone _ __  
_ We know the feeling _ __  
_ Just believe me _ __  
_ It's nearly morning _ __  
_ Any second now _ __  
_ We know the feeling _ _  
_ __ Just believe me

Amanda moved silently, naked feet on soft carpet. Julia knew she was there. She always knew. Julia didn't move, Amanda wrapped her arms around her from behind as she buried her nose in the back of her neck. 

__  
_ It hurts _ __  
_ It really hurts _ __  
_ It's in your blood _ __  
_ To give _ __  
_ Yourself away _ __  
_ For nothing much _ __  
_ When no one understands you're breaking ground _ __  
_ You're not the only one who can't be found _ __  


They didn't talk for a while. They really didn't need to. They always did. It helped them. Their recovery was never over. Julia never made Amanda feel like her trauma was any less than her own, and while she appreciated that, she knew her wife went through much more, much worse. 

It was a constant, daily struggle. It had been years and they both still had a hard time from time to time. Even if they were able to hide it deep in their everyday lives. They knew they never had to hide it from each other. 

She squeezed tighter and Julia let out a pained sob before turning in Amanda's arms. She held her close, fingers stroking through her hair and giving soft kisses on top of her head as the music washed over them, trickling deep under their skin and replacing the marrow in their bones. 

__  
_ As sure as the night will cover your eyes _ __  
_ As sure as the voices telling you lies _ _  
_ __ Counting the days that never arrive

Amanda's vision became blurry as the lyrics dug deep, flooding with images she could see so vividly from her past and those she could clearly imagine, almost like hydromancy in her own salty tears, of her wife's devastating past. 

“It's okay. You're safe now. They can never have you. Never again. You're mine. I'll never let them have what's mine. You're safe.” Amanda whispered the words wet and shaky along with her tears into her beloved's hair as she pulled her closer.

__  
_ All of the time you thought you got close _ __  
_ How hard it is to love those old ghosts _ __  
_ You get the least but you give up the most _ __  
_ Any second now _ _  
_ __ We know the feeling

Julia nodded against her chest, fingers squeezing impossibly tighter in her robe as she sobbed. Long ago Amanda vowed never to let her past control her life, she found her strength but Julia was her rock. Then Amanda had taken another vow. No matter what came their way, she would do her best to help Julia fight the demons from her past, literal or figurative. Because Amanda knows the feeling.

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was written for SPN Coldest Hits.


End file.
